Relationships – the Key to Improved Passion and Performance

Pat Heydlauff

Are your relationships draining the passion out of your personal life and sabotaging your performance in the workplace? If your relationships are out of balance, whether at home, in the workplace or both, passion and mutual fulfillment suffer at home and your productivity and performance suffer at work.

According to marketing statistics, the single most important word in the English language is “you” and the least important is “I.” But it is very interesting to note that when you put you and I together you create “we,” the second most important single word. Together “we” can accomplish more, enjoy life more, create a better widget, help others live a better life or bring peace to planet earth.

Relationships, it’s all about relationships. People buy products from people, not companies. People attend concerts because of the relationships they have with the performers and others in the audience. People want to speak with people to solve problems, not an impersonal electronically modulated voice on the other end of the phone.

Some relationships you choose such as friends, teammates, your spouse; some are mandatory e.g. family, workplace associates and professionals. Because humans are wired to be connected, relationships are not an option - but who you have relationships with other than the mandatory ones are a choice, your choice. Are your relationships energy-draining or filled with positive energy to support your passion and performance?

Are Energy-Drainers Standing in Your Way: Just because our society is constantly in contact with the advent of social media doesn’t mean that as a society relationships are connected, committed or fulfilling. Everything changed for relationships both at work and home with the arrival of the 21^st Century. Society realized they could no longer interact and communicate the same way they did in the last century. They needed to be more flexible and open with their relationships and realize that one-size no longer fits all. The home/work paradigm they all grew up with as the norm for the last fifty years was non-existent and the new norm was change.

Personal Life Energy-Drainers: Are there things from the past or present standing in your way, energy-draining barriers that are preventing you from enjoying relationships filled with passion and performance? On the personal side energy-drainers can include things like:

• Unresolved conflicts

• Unfulfilled expectations

• Forgiveness

• Indifference

• Time consumers like television, children, money, sports, social media, self-absorption

Workplace Energy-Drainers: Relationships in the workplace can have dynamically contrasting views of what constitutes working relationships because the employees can range over several generations in age and bring with them a diverse definition of work ethic and interaction. Some of their energy-drainers could include:

• Resentment

• Revenge

• Resistance to change

• Definition of teamwork

• Being undervalued and unappreciated by leadership

According to Leadership expert John Maxwell, “One of the greatest mistakes leaders make is spending too much time in their offices and not enough time out among the people. Leaders are agenda driven, task focused, and action oriented because they like to get things done. They hole up in their offices, rush to meetings, and ignore everyone they pass along the way. What a mistake! First and foremost, leadership is people business.” In the workplace, people must be the number one priority of the leader. If they are, they will support the leader that values their time and importance.

Building Mutually Satisfying Relationships: It doesn’t matter if you are trying to improve your personal relationships and re-ignite passion or your workplace relationships to improve your performance, the solutions are the same. Flip your thinking so you can get rid of the old norm and operate in the 21^st Century norm.

Replace old thinking about the way things were when you were younger with what works in today’s society and economy. Relationships must be mutually satisfying, fulfilling and supportive. This is true in marriages and employee/employer relationships.

Respect is the fundamental principle and the foundation for all successful relationships. It is the only behavior of choice for equally balanced relationships. If you make a commitment to someone, keep it – you are showing respect for the other person. If you won’t or can’t, don’t commit. This is a huge problem in today’s well-intended over-committed society. The inability to keep commitments will eventually lead to resentment, anger and indifference.

Rapport is created by finding ways to connect with each other and building a bond that will take you through the good and the difficult times in the future. Work at keeping the communication lines open – this is the only way to maintain balanced healthy relationships. 

Resolve old conflicts so they can no longer fester and infect the relationship causing it to wither and die. Then remember to keep those old conflicts buried. Do not continue to replay them in a continuous loop, attacking, accusing or demanding; instead look out for each others well-being.

Restore the core values and beliefs your relationship was built on. Truth, commitment and loyalty are fundamental for strong relationships. Trust is the reason why most people stay connected. If things aren’t working, go back to the core values of your original relationship. If there weren’t any, find the ones you can use now to improve your relationships in the future.

To help you further energize supportive balanced relationships locate the southwest area of your living/family room. Using a Feng Shui supportive energy principle, place in that area something that represents equal balanced relationships such as a picture of a family gathering or a victorious sales team where everyone is happy and celebrating; a large bouquet of silk flowers with each flower representing a different relationship or perhaps picture on the wall exhibiting good interpersonal relationships will also work. You will stay focused on building and maintaining healthy relationships at home and at work.

Flip your thinking and adopt a 21^st Century attitude of accepting the new norm to help you re-engage, re-energize and regenerate your passion, perspective and performance in all your relationships.

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