The Art of
Being Unconditionally Happy
By Marti
MacGibbon
Trevor is a manager at a large marketing firm. Each
time Trevor sets a goal, he promises himself that if he reaches it,
he will be happy. Yet when he attains the goal, he immediately
reaches for the next horizon, telling himself that if he allows
himself to be happy he’ll become complacent. Trevor wants to
electrify his team members, instilling them with an invigorating
sense of accomplishment so they can excel, but fears that his pep
talks are only empty words as a result of his burnout. Trevor tells
himself he will be happy when he and his team achieve top sales
records, and is currently pushing toward that milestone. But he
secretly worries that happiness will continue to evade him even if
he reaches the very top of his field.
Bethany is an associate of Trevor’s. Trevor can’t
help but notice how enthusiastic Bethany is, and how she seems to
inspire and energize her sales team simply by walking into the room.
Bethany’s sense of humor is infectious, and her subordinates reflect
her sense of fun. She and her team always appear to be focused and
directed, yet relaxed, even during hectic times and economic
downturns. Bethany seems to derive a great deal of satisfaction and
happiness from all aspects of her career, yet Trevor knows she holds
the same position and sales achievements that he holds. Trevor
wonders why Bethany never seems to suffer from burnout. He wishes he
knew her secret.
Bethany’s secret is the art of being unconditionally
happy. Happiness is a state of being. It is a way of thinking, a
conscious choice. Lots of people think the “pursuit of happiness” is
a linear process, so they live in a state of expectancy, or hope of
happiness arriving…some day. They pursue, hoping to some day
overtake happiness when the conditions are perfect. But you can
experience happiness in the present moment, without waiting, if you
give yourself permission — in the moment. There is no need to meet
any requirement, fulfill any quota, or compete with rivals in order
to allow yourself the liberty of carrying unconditional happiness
inside you every moment of the day. You are calling the shots here —
your life is yours alone to experience. Here are three strategies
you can employ to discover and develop the art of unconditional
happiness:
Recognize that happiness is available now, in the
present moment.
One way to increase your “now awareness” is to take a break, a mini
vacation, or a sabbatical. Set aside a few minutes during the day
to focus completely on the now, the present moment. Relax, and
become conscious of your breathing. Channel your mental energy away
from thoughts and inner dialogue – allow yourself to simply be here
now. Observe your inner and outer environment, without judging
anything. Accept sensory input, or the lack of it, as what is, as
part of the moment. Listen to the background noise in your office,
or the silence, around you. Experience your emotions, your physical
sensations, and a sense of your body. Look at your hands, your desk
– or close your eyes, if you like. The object of this exercise is to
experience life in the moment, unfettered by thoughts of past or
future. Consciously relax the muscles in your neck and shoulders,
and practice letting go of your tension. You can do this exercise
while taking a coffee break, in the elevator, or in a brief moment
in your office, door closed if you need it. In the moment, practice
smiling, inwardly, outwardly, or both, without feeling the need to
justify it.
Choose to think positive, self-enhancing thoughts.
Begin by making a list
of at least five self-enhancing statements, or affirmations. These
statements may describe both skills or qualities you already possess
and those you aspire to develop. When you compose this list, make
sure you describe yourself in present tense, for instance, “I am
enthusiastic about my job,” rather than, “I will be enthusiastic
about my job.” Be generous with yourself – be your own cheerleading
squad. Read your list aloud to yourself, preferably each night
before sleeping. When you read or recite your self-enhancing
statements, practice accessing feelings of love, happiness, peace,
satisfaction or joy. The idea of this exercise is to become
conscious of, and to emphasize, all the attributes you bring with
you into your workplace, your thought life, and your personal life.
Harness the power of the moment to choose happiness. Once you recognize the
significance of the present moment, you can begin making the
conscious choice to be happy. This is not a process of denying the
existence of stress at work, a coworker or boss that is difficult or
a project that is not going well. It is the process of accepting and
acknowledging the existence of beauty, love, gratitude, and
happiness, even when pain and problems present themselves. Often
people find it easier to accept negative aspects of life than to
accept all the positive forces surrounding them. Breathe in slowly,
breathe out, and make this declaration to yourself: “Happiness is
here, it’s free, accessible, and unconditional. It is mine any time
I want it. I give myself permission to enjoy unconditional
happiness. I don’t need any obvious reason to be happy! I can
experience happiness during times of hardship as well as prosperity,
loss as well as gain, difficulty as well as ease. Happiness is the
state of my being; it is where I reside!”
Having made your declaration of independence from
conditional happiness, start walking the walk. Be mindful of
increased options, choosing to think optimistic, kind, loving,
generous, and forgiving thoughts as you move through life. Let go of
the burdens of self-doubt, of comparing yourself to your coworkers,
and fearing the future. The future is born of the present. Begin a
love affair with the present moment, consciously accept life as
enough in itself, and slip into the joy of being alive. Feel better?
That’s unconditional happiness.
Read other articles and learn more about
Marti MacGibbon.
[This article is available at no-cost, on a non-exclusive basis.
Contact PR/PR at 407-299-6128 for details.]
|
