How to Heal a Business Relationship after the Romance Has Ended

By Esther Francis Joseph

Michael and Susan made a great team at work.  An important project required them to work closely together for two months, practically 7 days a week. Susan’s creative genius perfectly complemented Michael’s technical expertise.  As their work got in the way of their personal relationships, they found themselves confiding in one another as they worked side by side, sharing meals and intimate details of their lives.  A blossoming friendship quickly turned to a burgeoning romance, at first beneficial to the office, and later, an apparent complication and distraction.

These two are typical of so many couples who develop in the workplace. While some romances go on to become life-long, an even larger percentage doesn’t work out. For these and many other reasons, most people advise against romances in the workplace. Many HR departments have policies addressing workplace dating, either forbidding it, limiting it, or requiring disclosure. Some policies are strictly concerning dating between supervisors and subordinates. Others have love contracts that address retaliation in the case of breaking up in the workplace.

Today, for many singles the people they most often interact with are their coworkers. Often, the inevitable occurs and coworkers start dating. For the most part, things can remain relatively calm in the office while the couple is happily dating. However, problems can arise when there is a break up. Finding effective ways to heal a business relationship after a romance in the office has ended is very important for workplace harmony.  Businesses realize the problems that can arise following the break up of dating coworkers. That’s why policies exist concerning it. The overall ambiance of an office can change due to such break ups. Rivalries, retaliation and hurt feelings can run rampant. Knowing how to help heal an office relationship will prevent such issues with the following tips:

Prevent and Circumvent: Minimize contact with each other, especially one on one. Create new routines. For example, if you usually take breaks and lunch at the same time as your ex, change your time or location. If you constantly bump into your ex in the same places, make new routines in order to avoid uncomfortable situations and old memories. Don’t take part in social situations when your ex is present if you can avoid it. If you must, stick with a couple of people who will help keep you away from him or her. If you are the one who has been dumped or you still have feelings invested in the person, dedicate yourself to keeping busy, especially outside of work. Focus on new activities and friends to avoid thinking of your lover.

Keep it Professional: Be civil to each other at all times at work. Abandon efforts at friendship and instead focus on professionalism. Keep conversation strictly to business topics. Do not ask about or answer personal information or questions. Since the romance is over, the other person has no right to information about your private life. If it weren’t for your work connection, you would likely have little opportunity for interaction. If you find that the other person is deliberately trying to interact with you, avoid playing along. Keep all contact strictly professional. If he approaches you and attempts to get personal, politely say something like “I don’t feel comfortable talking about that” and walk away.

Disclosure: Do your work to the best of your ability and avoid letting your ex impact your workday. Be honest with those around you. Let other co-workers know that your relationship has ended. If required disclose the break-up to HR. They will understand if there is tension and be better at circumventing any difficulties or awkwardness that may arise with you two working together. Avoid talking about the other person behind their back. While it is important to let your coworkers know that you are no longer involved, it is equally important to not get into details or gossip about the other person. No matter how you feel about the situation, do not let your true feelings show, act as if you are fine, because in time it will be! Make brief matter of fact statements only like “Things just didn’t work out.”

Take a Time Out: Take a break from work and put distance between you two if possible by taking a vacation. If there are any out-of-the-office tasks, volunteer for them. Getting out and away from the workplace and your routine is helpful. Ask your boss about opportunities to get away by saying something like “I’d be very interested in getting out of the office for a little while. Is any work available at another site?”

Break-ups with the Boss: If your romance was a boss/employee relationship, things can get a little trickier. While it is not possible to avoid the other person at work, keeping things strictly professional is the best recourse. HR should always be consulted in these situations, as most companies frown upon this sort of relationship fearing a lawsuit.

Unfortunately, a break up with a boss can mean extra tasks being demanded of you, excessively strict performance reviews and other negative consequences. The risk of retaliation is very high in a relationship of superior/subordinate. Attempt to limit contact as much as possible with your former mate. Your last resort would be attempting to transfer or find another job.

Working with a former love interest can be a difficult situation. Typically when a romance ends, people make efforts to estrange themselves from the other party. But in a workplace situation, especially if the breakup was not mutual, the person who was dumped will have a more challenging time adapting. It is a complicated position to be in for both parties when they are forced to see and interact with each other regardless of their feelings. However, harmony can be restored if they both put the effort into it and respect each other. A working relationship is entirely possible and can be re-established following a breakup.

Read other articles and learn more about Esther Francis Joseph.

[This article is available at no-cost, on a non-exclusive basis.  Contact PR/PR at 407-299-6128 for details.]